In 2011, I begin to attend cell group(Walnut Cell) by Abbalove LA. First time in my life I am attending a small intimate group. I felt like a foreigner at first then started to blend in. This cell group consist of young people who are passionate and want to do more for Christ. The very first day I was prayed over and I was blessed.
Few months flew by. One day on my way back from bible class to attend Walnut Cell. Holy Spirit prompted in my heart to share my deepest and secret struggle I was battling within me for many years now, which is homosexuality. I was like what??!! NO WAY GOD! I will not do that. I started to reason in my mind and decided not to do it but the tugging was there. No one knows I have that desire. I even thought I should not attend the cell group that night but end up going because I am always blessed when I am there.
I entered and sat quietly, the cell group begin and we worshiped the Lord through songs. Right after that our facilitator Pas Christian asked "is there anyone who want to share something today? because I am sensing GOD has prepared someone to share". You can imagine I would have felt by then. My heart was pumping at high speed, sweating my way and I know I have to speak up because this is the Lord's doing. No one spoke for good two to three minutes. I said I have something to share and kept quiet for next five minutes because of my assumption what they will think about me (rejection, humiliation and condemnation) .
There were probably 12 people in cell that day. Pas Christian encouraged me do not worry just share then the rest started to encourage me too and I said it " I struggle with same sex attraction" the entire cell was quiet. I told my story cannot remember exactly what I told but I know I told a lot of things. After I am done sharing. One of the guy came and hugged me and said I love you man and thank you for sharing and said I will surely keep you in my prayer. Almost all came and did that to me on that day. I was blown away with their reaction when I thought I will judged and condemned I received love and encouragement instead. Life changing experience. From that day I was not afraid to share my testimony and God has started His healing process. After that a lot others started to share their struggle and we started to pray for one another. GOD's presences was thick and tangible.
On that very day I found the Love of GOD in action through all that was in the cell. I even received random messages during the weeks saying I am praying for your man. Keep fighting the good fight and I love you man. Amazing! This incident engraved in my heart the power of body of Christ when there is the Spirit of God, Love,Grace and Truth practiced regardless who the person are there will be liberation. Almost 5 years now I still clearly remember that day. Now I am in Malaysia, married and have a baby on the way.With the Lord I am building this community lifestyle among the body of Christ and want everyone to experience what I have experienced which brought freedom to me.
I pray for everyone who read this post will be encouraged, GOD is looking for authenticity in the Body of Christ, He already know the mess we are in so hiding and keeping it to ourselves will not help us to get better. We need accountability and prayers to overcome the struggle we are in. Get plugged in a cell and be real, you will be amazed what the Lord can do through His people.